Happy July!

The United States celebrated the anniversary of its Declaration of Independence on the 4th.

Much like the founders of the USA, the JPMC Workers Alliance has a mission to take the power of a ruler and build a more equitable system. The current political climate merely increases the urgency of this mission.

One of the founding principles of the USA is that groups of people can unite and accomplish more together than any of them could separately.

When we vote for a union contract, we can include a hybrid work schedule, a bigger share of record profits, and a more transparent and fair medical accommodations process.

Workplace improvements do not happen by magic, but the more people join our cause, the sooner we can make these and other changes happen.

Indeed, even without that union contract, we can improve our working conditions.

In a time when all of us are so tired, and despair is so tempting, it is more important than ever to remember that together we are strong.

If enough of us together demand these improvements, they are inevitable!

P.S. Please keep an eye out for a special announcement later this month!

Table of Contents:

1. Protests
2. Short Updates
3. Steward’s Report
4. EOS Results
5. Medical Accommodations Process
6. Booklets
7. Bargaining Unit Mapping
8. How You Can Help
9. Corporate Poetry
10. Remember

Protests

What do a protest and a union have in common? As it turns out, quite a lot.

While CorpOracle was attending the peaceful No Kings Protests that took place on Saturday, June 14th, she received word that Minnesota lawmakers Melissa Hortman and John Hoffman were shot in their respective homes.

Though she was in a crowd of strangers when the weight of world events overwhelmed her, many hands immediately reached out to offer support, tissues, kindness, and compassion.

In that moment of human connection, she was struck by the interconnectedness of worker solidarity and systemic injustice.

What is unionizing but a company-scale version of larger protest movements?

The very first unions in America started as workers standing arm-in-arm with their colleagues and not budging until everyone benefited.

The greatest changes this country has ever seen have always started with many hands reaching out to support those who needed it, whether in the workplace or the larger community.

Short Updates

• Our newsletter subscriber count has grown by 8%
• Our Discord community has grown by 14%
• We continue our carpool organization efforts
• Business Insider published this article about our efforts
• Five extremely cool people have boosted our Discord server!
• Union Advisor Cole presented a Know Your Rights training session in one of our weekly union meetings
• We continue to update our issues page with issues raised by new members
• We made huge strides towards becoming a legal entity!
  • The initial bylaws were written and approved
  • Officers were elected!
    • Stewardship officer: Nic Welch
    • Membership officer: Jesse
    • Treasurer: Cassie
    • Content officer: Reggie
    • PR officer: Momma Beth
    • Secretary: CorpOracle
    • Training officer: Kathryn

Steward’s Report

This section covers the status of grievances that either were settled or are still pending.

The JWA became aware of a JPMC workplace harassment claim arising out of some unwanted romantic overtures. HR closed the case late last week after the involved employees’ break times were adjusted not to coincide. However, the two employees still work together in the same capacity.

JWA leadership is concerned that this leaves a vulnerable worker in an awkward position at best. We call upon the company to re-engage with complainants to assess the adequacy of proposed resolutions to workplace behavior concerns.

Public Service Announcement:

Avoid romantic advances in the workplace. It’s virtually never welcome and creates a hostile working environment for both the victim and bystanders. Here’s a deeper exploration.

EOS Results

As you know, Employee Opinion Survey results are rolling out across the firm.

Management is framing falling year-over-year metrics as ‘wins’ while ignoring the multitude of legitimate frustrations voiced by employees over systemic issues.

A continuing bad taste has been left in the mouths of employees who fear reprisal for honest evaluations, leaving many feeling as though they are voiceless, unsupported, and alone.

But none of us are alone!

Our Discord is a vibrant and diverse community. It is a better and freer representation of JPMC workers, and no one is rendered voiceless by a survey that asks only the questions management wants answers to.

Joining in community with your fellow workers is a balm to the creeping feelings of isolation, and sharing your stories helps us all feel less alone. Send us your stories! Share the newsletter with like-minded colleagues.

Unlike the Firm’s lazy approach to EOS comments, a living breathing human reads everything sent to jpmcworkers@gmail.com.

Medical Accommodations Process

Can you relate to this poster about the JPMC ADA accommodation request process?

Many of us have failed to get necessary medical accommodations. Some have been forced out of the firm. Some are still trying to get what they need.

However, some of us have succeeded!

If you want to meet these people and see what we’ve learned, join Discord and get vetted! When you mention accommodations during or after the vetting process, we will show you the relevant conversation.

Booklets

We now have little booklets you can hand out!

The first is called “How to Spot When the Boss Is Breaking the Law” and details a handy acronym (SPIT) to help you remember what counts as illegal union-busting tactics.

The second is called “Your Right to a Union: Build It Now!” and discusses your rights under the US National Labor Relations Act.

Both are available as ready-to-print PDFs, and a folding tutorial is on the linked web page.

Of course, we have many more ideas! Including:

How to talk to your colleagues about the union

Why White-Collar Unions Should Exist

Things JD can do with 1% of his salary

If you would like to contribute either an idea, a draft, or a full booklet, we welcome your help! Share in Discord or by emailing us at jpmcworkers@gmail.com

Tips on writing a booklet are also on the website!

Bargaining Unit Mapping

We are organizing the workforce into collective bargaining units.

In Discord, we have a channel called Collective Action Announcements. Therein, you’ll find some first steps you can take to help the process along.

While you’re at it, you’ll earn recognition in the form of Discord role ranks. (We’re borrowing the structure from a certain well-known sci-fi franchise.)

How You Can Help

To build this union, we need tons of help!

We’ve already mentioned several things, but here are ways you can help us succeed:

• Ask questions!
• Share your ideas, stories, complaints, or progress
• Create booklets, posters, recruitment ideas, or events
• Hang posters in your workplace
• Pass out copies of our booklets
• Talk to your colleagues about their struggles
• Spread the word about this newsletter
• Submit something fun for the next newsletter (creative writing, memes, anything)

If any of the above calls to you, let us know in our Discord server or by replying to this email! You can also send an email to jpmcworkers@gmail.com

Living the Dream - Corporate Poetry

It’s Friday again!!! Short week, what a win, Thank the dead for the holiday, I stayed locked in. My laundry’s still soured, I lost the fight, But I haven’t cried since Monday night.

Last week’s rant? Twenty thousand views. Most laughed, some trashed, sure HR fumed. So here we go again, recap on blast, The good, the bad, the WTFs amassed.

My cat who purred through Zoom on my lap, Now poops in corners, setting protest traps. Still, she’s not confined with her tail tucked tight, Like my coworkers’ dogs, locked up day and night.

I lost five pounds. Not flexing just facts, Been skipping lunch ’cause the café’s packed. Too broke, too tired, too beat to stand. Boycotting vendors was not what I planned.

Our CEO boasts to the news with precision, Proudly declaring, “There is no attrition!” But senior leaders are “retiring” fast, And the RIF list whispers, “You’re next,” as it’s passed.

Summer Fridays? Gone like a dream. Now it’s 5 o’clock punch-outs and an OC regime. We used to feel trusted, empowered, and bold, Now it’s badge-ins and tracking, and fear-based control.

Self-care’s a myth when your paycheck is tight, Unless you’re the boss, then you’re doing all right. He’s glowing on Forbes, I’m dry-shampooed and pale, Living on caffeine and decades of betrayal.

Five full days? That’s corporate crime. I’m already exhausted ahead of time. I scan myself for a reason to bail, An eye twitch, a cough, an ingrown toenail.

No walls, no doors, just echoes and doom, One desk away from a brawl in the room. The open floor plan? A sad little scheme. But HEY we’re shoulder to shoulder… just “living the dream”.

Sincerely, My poems and ChatGPT support

— by u/Mean-Literature-8419 with permission (Reddit OP)

REMEMBER

The union is us. We are the union.

Change is coming. Be a part of it.

Excitedly Yours,

The JPMC Workers Alliance

Written with love by Beth, Renwick, and Reggie

P.S. Previous editions are available on our website!